I hated my cpap when I first tried it, too. I took the mask off and threw it across the room. But unless I used it at least 4 hours a night for so many days in one month, my insurance wouldn't pay for my cpap machine. The more you use it, the more you get used it it. It's not a normal thing to wear a mask. It can make you closterphobic. The more you use it the more you get used to a cpap. It's sad that you'd rather give up on trying and possibly die than use a full-face mask or a nasal pillow.