I had headaches for several days and horrible nausea. All the while I was pushing myself to develop a model I needed for the last chapter of the book I'm writing. I got a little obsessed with it and my mind just wouldn't stop trying to find the perfect solution. A day or two later I couldn't sleep for two days and started having very dream-like experiences while waking. It felt kind like my world was turning inside out. So I'd hear a song or watch a show and it would have some sort of deeper meaning to me. Someone would say something and it would synchronistically match my thoughts. I started feeling like I was special and on some sort of important mission. That got scary. I hallucinated visually a few times.

I knew the thoughts were delusional and wrong and I was able to fight them for a bit, but after two days of me knowing the thoughts were wrong and after watching the frequency steadily increase, I told my husband that I was losing my mind again and we needed to stop it asap. My doctor put me on the 20mg of Geodon and it stopped mostly after the first dose and completely after another two days.

If I had to guess, I think I pushed my brain too far and seized. That caused the nausea and headaches and then the insomnia. The insomnia paired with the increased brain activity caused the rest of it.

Interestingly enough, people with TLE who have these kinds of episodes are directed to take a small dose of an AP at the onset of insomnia and then they avoid the psychosis. I wonder if I could have avoided it if I would have had prn Geodon on hand.

There was no mania this time. I felt like crap physically. Just manic like racing thoughts the night I told my husband. It was a weird ride and I am very glad it is over. I leaned on what I learned from very wise people here and finally had insight into what was happening before it was too late. It scared is, but we caught it and kids were not impacted this time. I am very grateful for that.

After that I started digging into neurological causes for psychosis and landed on TLE. My symptoms are a nice fit, so that's why I'm consulting with a neurologist on Tuesday.