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It was not so bad. I honestly believe things that happened to me in early years of my life could cause some discomfort and little shame (fat guy getting laughed at). They caused me much more than that, because people putting you down equals people questioning your worth and refusing to give you admiration, so I considered it as a trauma, because I am a covert narcissist.
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It's unfortunate that when we are young we can believe that when others say mean things to us and are disrespectful and encourage us to feel we have no true worth, we can believe them instead of understanding anyone who does that is a selfish jerk. Children tend to see the world revolving around them and can be very narcissistic. This kind of savage like behavior was laid out in the story "Lord of the Flies".
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The unfortunate fact is that I could apologize you for that manipulation right now, but I am not sure if I would mean it
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Well, it's entirely possible you might not mean it, only you would know the answer to that one. However, I will still appreciate the fact that at least you are honest about that with me.
The sad thing I have come to recognize about narcissists, be it overt or covert is they can't even be honest with themselves. They tend to gaslight even themselves in order to escape their own emotions. This is what makes it hard to help/treat them. It's sad in that they never really claim a true identity, they simply just mask and change their masks. So they never actually form genuine connections with others. Everything is about protecting that fragile child in them that cries and is alone or blows up in rages.