Quote:
Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus
Boredom, to me, is a human emotion. People say sometimes to just sit with boredom and see what happens. If I do that I just end up depressed. I wish I had more productive things to do. I think being productive is a major part of my life.
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I feel kind of bored now thinking about it. I think with the way the world is, I think "fack idk.. What to do now?"..
I'm too aware now.. I think pain and humiliation etc make me realize and grow. I used to be so immature just a few years ago.
The bad trip made me feel so much pain and humiliation about my ego that my brain was on fire but x4000.. I was literally in hell.
Idk.. I can't believe I've gotten to this point where I am now.. Every time I'm not on the right track, my brain remembers the trip and triggers a reaction of dp/dr where I think that everything isn't real which reminds me to stay on the right track.
But it's exhausting - Especially with all of these panic attacks. I need to practice meditation and mindfulness but for some reason I shy away from it and search for hedonia and to kill pain. I'm like someone with PTSD.