Hi there,

I am sorry that you endured that sort of treatment, regardless of the diagnosis or possibility thereof.

I would like to note that "narcissistic" can be simply an adjective describing the behavior of an individual, and that "narcissism" is a set of traits a person can have, without being diagnosed, as that term alone is not a disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NPD, is the more extreme form of a certain set of "core" traits such as grandiosity, entitlement, lack of empathy, validation seeking and arrogance. Upon these are other traist such as exploitativeness, arrogance and envy.

It is understood that narcissists are, at the core, extremely unaware of their fragility within; while most people will be able to identify that they do not feel enough, narcissists are not in touch with that, and act quite the opposite of how they actually feel about themselves. This is why treating narcissists can be hard; they struggle to self-reflect, and the behaviors are basically a way of coping with that turmoil.

Nevertheless, it is not fair on those around them to be subjected to the acting out, the mean-spiritedness, cruelty and so forth.

It is also understood by experts on narcissism that the traits fall on a sort of scale or continuum, and that some people can be fairly egocentric, but not narcissistic. They could be narcissistic, but far from meeting the criteria of NPD.

Best of luck,