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I think what bothers me is there was a power imbalance- I'll explain. You need a stellar reference- and he knows this. There is a pandemic going on and all jobs are now no longer guaranteed and the economy took a dump. In regular circumstances you would want a good reference but in these circumstances you NEED a good reference in order to recover. Add that to the fact that he has some basic info about your marriage issues. So I think he thought that you would be receptive to anything. I am not saying he is holding your reference hostage on the basis of you having an affair with him but he knows that this reference will be essential to your employment. It may not have been a total quid pro quo but sort of a passive aggressive way to test the waters.
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"I carried a watermelon?"
President of the no F's given society.
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