Hey everybody. You all surely know me well at this point as I have constant problems with family members. And if it were not for this site and all my friends here, I'd have no one to talk to about it. So thank you.

My mother in law is 77. She'll be looking to move in with either my husband or m,y husband's brother in about 4 years or so. Assuming her health does not decline and take her out before then. I do not like my MIL. She has caused many problems for me over the years. My husband has always made more money than his brother and has born all the costs associated with my MIL over the last several years. He pays her mortgage, and any bills or expenses that her fixed income doesn't cover. My brother in law (BIL) has been asked to help pay over the years, but he only pays sporadically and a minimal amount at best. My BIL's finances have gotten alot better due to job promotions in recent years to the point that he just bought a custom 6 bedroom house on a lake. My BIL's contributions have NOT increased towards his mother however.

My husband just came to me and said in about 4 years when our youngest graduates high school, he'd like for his mom to live with us. I said, "what about your brother and his big house on the lake?" He said, he'd never get to see her because his brother lives so far away and he wants to take care of her.

I have several problems with this. 1.) she's not my mother and I'm not going to take care of her when her body is breaking down 2.) after bearing 90% of the costs of this woman for the last 10 years, it's not fair to burden us with further costs and physical care 3.) my BIL is married to a very manipulative woman who currently has her elderly mother living with them. So this goes according to her plan of keeping this MIL out and pushing her on us.

My husband does not realize what it would take to have an 80+ year old woman living with us. It would be a terrible burden! And quite frankly, I don't like her and I refuse to take care of her. And in home health aides only come during business hours, so when she's wetting the bed and pooping on herself in the middle of the night, it would fall on me or my husband to clean her up. I refuse! But I'm trying to be sensitive to my husband as this is his mother. But he's not thinking straight. I don;t know how to handle this except to say this. If it comes to be that this old MIL is pushed on me and the BIL wipes his hands of it, I will NEVER SPEAK to my BIL or his nasty manipulative wife ever again. Let my husband get a taste of that and see how he likes it.