The things you describe all sound like me too. You are right to want to persue the "something's going on in my mind" investigation. Sounds like you've got some initial infrastructure work done already, you at least have one dx etc. Get with a doc who can determine how likely bipolar really might be your condition, or another. In my experience and so many others here, the symptoms don't seem to have much respect for borders between differing dx's. But the right doc knows ways to narrow it down somewhat by asking you questions. So, you really want to lay it all out. Think, "full capitulation" in order to get the most informative responce from your doc.

The time during dx can be so upsetting. It really does have that fork in the road feel to it. The thing is, you can't really choose the i'm not mentally ill fork if you are. Then it's more like a sudden curve in a road you thought went straight to the horizon. A disturbing thing, but you adjust. I'm not trivializing just trying to make a picture in answer to how scared you are now. I've sure been there. But nothing I was ever afraid of was ever as bad as I was afraid.

good luck and welcome