I am sorry you're feeling this way. I imagine it was scary as a child and it seems that way now. I think it can sometimes be helpful to first practice acceptance of how you feel and why. There is a part of you that wants to be heard, loved, and accepted. Don't shut it out. Sitting with the emptiness and fear for a bit may help to calm the fight or flight response.

It may also help to make a truth/lie comparison list. When we have extreme fear our mind lies to us. For example, 'I am empty' is a lie that can be compared with the truth of all the things that fill your life. Friends, family, play, work, pets, etc. 'I did something wrong' can be compared with a list of work accomplishments. 'I am a tiny girl' can be compared with 'I am a strong woman' and a list of times you have shown strength or the fact that you are a survivor that overcame your childhood challenges. You can make one for 'I am unsafe', or 'I will be arrested', etc.

So make your comparison chart and sit and breathe and read it when you're feeling this way. An exercise like this honors how you feel, but trains your brain to end on the truth. Plus, forcing your mind to review a list over and over shifts you out of the repetitive thoughts and puts you back in control. You can add to it or delete items as needed.

Just a suggestion, as always go with whatever resonates with you.

Sometimes the only way out is through. Hang in there.