Dechan, I think that part of the challenge you are having is that you do have fond memories of this friend where she stayed at your house and you giggled etc together. There was a closeness you experienced with her. That doesn’t fit in with how she treated you that deeply hurt and disturbed you. So when this happens the brain or our mind has conflicting feelings and unresolve. This is called cognitive dissonance. I have that challenge with certain individuals myself. It tends to keep a person stuck and at times feeling discomfort that actually produces anxiety. I have certain individuals that I have this problem with myself IRL.

It’s probably resurfacing again due to not having where you are going to live resolved yet right now.