I'm feeling really lonely tonight. Like its physically painful.

For the past 3 days I've wanted to online date again. I even signed up one night then deleted my account in the morning. I change my mind in the morning. Also this is a super stressful time for me. Not sure its a good time to subject myself to that horse ****.

I am also questioning medical billing and coding. It doesn't sound interesting at all. I'm also really scared. I'm not thrilled with this school either. There are things I would rather do: study human services and being a peer specialist, Sign language, knit, and there's a creative writing class that starts at the end of September I'd love to take. It would all likely mean, that I would get a job as a cleaner or stocker. But that might be a much better first job for me.

I'm so lonely. Tonight is the wrong time to make any kind of decision. But yeah. I really do not know if human services field is right for me. At all.

I just really want to snuggle tonight. With a dog. And a child. And a man who loves us.

Being under a blanket, listening to jazz, and journaling helps a little bit.