I'm not demanding love or asking anyone to fabricate feelings that are not real. My therapist loves me and cares about me. It has been said over, and over, and over. The feelings are very real.

So why do I need it said often? Because I have been abandoned over and over and over again. Love in my past has not been constant. It has been there one minute, ripped away the next, and placed back in play again. It was always conditional, and anytime I reached for it, it was gone. Is that an excuse to demand my therapist to tell me she loves me when *I* need her to. No. But it's the reason why.

If I knew of a real, workable solution, I wouldn't BE here (in psychotherapy searching for answers, searching for guidance). I would not be wasting my time, my energy, my money, and driving myself absolutely crazy about why I feel so incredibly crappy about me and why I am this way. I AM searching for a solution darling, doing that does not mean that the CHANGE and WORK that comes with that is instantaneous. I am working on it, and the road is a very, very long one.

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Edahn said:
Seems to me like you're doing the exact same thing with this site as you are with your therapist (though we're not as spent as your therapist is).

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You can assume all you wish about what goes on between my therapist and I from reading one post, though I think it's a highly risky and insensitive move on your part. Do not feel "spent" about doing anything. You chose to reply!