Yes, you are right. This person said that I "deserved" to be where I am...without really going into the reasons...that I "deserved" to be alone...and a lot of other stuff. This is very disturbing. She has a large, supportive family...and has never lived alone...so how could she judge my experience? She has never moved out-of-state while I have lived in many places. She has never been responsible for anything...has never done her taxes, or purchased a house or car...her husband does everything. He manages their bills, mortgage, vehicle maintenance, health insurance, social security...bank accounts...everything.


I have sort of been "at risk" regarding my mental state for the last few years...and my financial situation changed drastically during the last 18 months. But that she used this to "judge" me is what has been haunting me. I am already very low on self-confidence, and with pretty serious housing problems. I also went through a period of feeling suicidal. She knew all that.

Her recent behavior was along the lines of "kicking someone when they are down," which is so low. I guess that is why I am angry. It is the lowest of the low moves to do this. That's why I am so, so, so angry. I want to confront her and just scream at her. This isn't how she was raised. Her parents were good people. I swear if I was near her I would just slap her up the side of her head!


It's not like I was abusing drugs or alcohol, or in an bad relationship...or engaging in criminal activity. I have just been trying to survive and stay sane. She said a lot of other stuff worse than this. I think it is what they call narcissistic rage.


I have gone through bad times and come out the other side. This is a very difficult time for me...basically the last four years. But it could get better for me. When it does she won't be there.

To think that in the past when she was having troubles with finances...my then husband and I paid for her to fly across country and visit us and to have a holiday provided by us - as a bit of relief from her problems. We wined and dined her and showed her all the sights in our part of the country (it awed her as she had never been out west) and for two weeks catered to her every desire. She always talked about the vacation we gave her when she was "down and out." So what does she give me when I am down and out? A swift verbal kick. then another, then another.


She is an idiot. I feel better just staying angry. I have always been a loyal friend and she trashed that. Her loss. Moving on.

What a freaking idiot...AND...a total witch she has become. If her husband dies before her she will truly be alone...because she has become mean and nasty and is probably alienating more people than just me. Then she will really experience loneliness and isolation for the first time. Her road won't be easy.

It's true I have cognitive dissonance. I DO wish I could confront her and ask her WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?...but I guess I will never know. And I have to live with that.

I am so stressed and it seems to be causing a lot of negative thinking. I need to work hard to change my attitude.