Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
My friend knew she went beyond the line, but she never had any respect for acknowledging any line whatsoever! I’d tell her, ‘Whatever thought pops into your head is what blurts out your mouth.’ She refused to hold anything back saying that’s who she is and she won’t tolerate “walking on eggshells” with me (as though I was way too sensitive). The things I let her get away with saying and didn’t get mad are astounding. The line she finally crossed was just way too far beyond what anyone would have allowed.
But, it seems you had a pretty healthy relationship with your friend until this fallout. She wanted to vent about her husband and you said you didn’t want to hear it. She must have not liked having her source of listener cut off and boundary set, so she went off on you in anger- yes, narcissistic.
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To everything you wrote...I say YES, YES, YES. I find in general a lot of people don't censor their thoughts. I was trained in Buddhism for years and there is something called, "Right Speech" and you know, there are a lot of exercises...so maybe I become more diplomatic. I don't spurt things out. And it is kind of a pleasure to be around seasoned Buddhist practitioners...because they are thoughtful. And everything is workable. Every conflict can be ironed out. So I was in that bubble for a long time.
But that "You're too sensitive," is the line insensitive people always use. I think it's sloppy to say...whatever you want to say...and then leave it up to others to clean up your verbal mess.
But this is very prevalent in our culture. Buddhism is anchored in the East...so there is the mentality that one doesn't just blurt things out.
The masters of measured speaking, tho, are Native Americans. I had a Native American friend...a very dear man...Cheyenne...and every single sentence he uttered was so measured. You know, so beautiful. And his silences, too, were so beautiful.
Okay so what you are saying is because I set a boundary my ex-friend had a baby-fied, temper tantrum? Lord.
I guess narcissists...are like...black and white. You are either for them or against them.
Well, freaking fvck that. I just got tired, tired, tired of her going on about him. Especially because I started to think...how he was always nice to me...and that is since I was a teenager. So now I really wonder...who the villian really is...in their household. For the last 30 years he has gone to old age homes to play the guitar. Like...he just has...a decent profile.
While I know for a fact she is insanely high maintenance.