A few years back, my friend's 20 something son died of a prescription drug overdose. He lived in her home and had passed in his bed and was found perhaps 24 hours later.

I told her that my boyfriend said "how could she have not known?",(I should not have), later he did change his mind and realized that his 20 something is disabled and he always knows where he is and what he is doing.

Well, she had never met him but she hated him for that. She will never let me mention his name or even talk about anything that involves him. He is a good person and that has been difficult. The subject comes up occasionally. She says.........

Like I've said before, I believe once someone has said something out loud, it's out there..no taking it back with an I'm sorry.. it wasn't an honest mistake...

it was meant to be said and in their head and heart..

A grieving parent does not need to hear in any circumstance any sort of comment that hurts... we are dealing with enough already..
I hold a grudge.. I don't like your bf for just what he said. That's my prerogative..
I do not care how wonderful,etc you think he is.

I still wish I could get her to see how crazy this grudge is.