Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Yes, these conflicts with friends that forced endings were about ‘good speech’! If mean, hurtful things weren’t said, we’d still be their friends.
Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation
It is also a concept that coms from Judaism. This is a site that sells a book all about what to and not to say. I study this book and still manage to open my big mouth and insert my foot way too often and that is my main problem. But it’s a work in progress.
I don’t know if narcissists have no sense of humor. I see high narcissistic qualities in that friend and others close to me and maybe even myself and we share good sense of humor. I do not have mean spirited sense of humor like some of them do, which I really don’t like and therein lies the difference IMHO.
I feel for you regarding the housing situation and pray you find somewhere safe to go. |
Wow, it is very interesting to hear about how this concept of right speech is taught in other systems. I was raised Catholic and my parents were pretty strict about speech. We weren't allowed to say we hated someone. But we COULD say..."I
hate it when you spit watermelon seeds at me." Haha. We were six kids including four wild boys so I guess my parents made allowances. Of course, no blasphemy, or cursing. I seem to be the only one in my family who swears as an adult. (When angry.)
Yes, there is a difference between a sense of humor and a mean sense of humor. It is subtle. I watch a lot of stand up comedians on YouTube (a distraction) and it is interesting how some are "gentle funny" while others are really mean-spirited.
I once knew a very down-and-out guy on the street. He was a veteran and an unfortunate alcoholic. Everyone loved him because he was very generous and kind...and made everyone laugh. His life was terrible. He always used to say, as a greeting, "Welcome into my Nightmare," the way someone else would welcome you into their home. When I think back I realize how "gentle funny" he was...just poking fun at the irony of life. I think true comics are always very sad.
I am going to pay closer attention to this. Krishnamurti was famous for saying, "Words kill. They can be true weapons of murder. So be careful." This is so true.