“I DO think she feels that friendship is a form of therapy...and maybe she uses friendships to complain. This is going to test the best friendship.”

^I agree this was also the issue that sent your friendship downhill. She did too much venting to you about her husband. This especially put you in an awkward position as he was your friend, too. When you enforced a boundary that you don’t want to be involved in that anymore, she got vicious.

This was similar to what happened with my friend, too. Except, it was she who constantly called me and pried the negative information out of me getting me to vent, saying she was my concerned friend, then she’d throw my issues in my faced when it served her— narcissistic. I would try to not vent to my friends as it is too much and they are not your therapists. Plus, it’s not nice to vilify your spouse to mutual friends. That falls under the rules of improper speech BTW.

The final conflict with my friend was she called to pump me for negativity and I told her I did not want to discuss it. I was in a good mood, driving, minding my own business and she was trying to bring me down...maybe it made her feel better. She wouldn’t back off and started text bombing me, which I wouldn’t read. Later I got an email from her about how crazy I am. I responded that I think it’s she who is nuts. Then I never heard from her again. She could have simply apologized for overstepping boundaries and I’d have been her friend with no issue, moving forward, but she did not care enough about me to ever call me again. That’s how simply it ended. The lifelong friend who’d talk about how we’ll be together in the nursing home and still best friends.