It's impossible to diagnose anyone without knowing their medical and environmental history. For example, from your post I'm not getting any particular signs that your husband has bipolar disorder. It sounds like you're under a lot of stress, I think it's terrific that you're in therapy.
As for your husband, since he's in therapy already, it seems to me that the logical next step would be to see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis.
One thought I cannot help but mention, because it is glaring in my mind: is it possible your husband is involved with another romantic partner?
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