I'm so exhausted! My son is a little better today. He took zyprexa last night. I'm hoping we increase his invega to 12 mgs. But his pdoc might push the injection. My son is afraid to go on that. I wish he would. But I cant force him.

I got papa murphys for dinner. So it was easy. But hes having me do everything for him. He says hes too out of it to do anything. That cant continue with my back pain.

I started my period. I have pmdd so its rough. Since coming off lorazepam my cycle is just all over the place.

It is really hard watching him go through this agony. Its been going on since he was 18. I love him to death but it's so draining. I wish he would advocate for himself. Hes really passive.

No panic attack tonight. Thank God. It should be coming on Sunday night. So I just have to brace myself for it. My therapist says dont fight it and don't wish that it would end that sounds almost impossible. Of course I wish it would end. It's pure misery.

Anyway I hope I sleep. So exhausted...