Aug 22, 2020 at 05:34 AM
I struggle with jealousy. My biggest jealousy was of other children even as an adult. I would get so jealous of a child being loved or comforted. It was so uncomfortable for me to see it that I wanted the guardian to hit that child. It was so hard for me to be around children. It was not until I finally got into therapy in my 40's that it subsided.
I never had children because of this and because I could barely take care of myself, I was afraid of myself and my raging, and my constant wanting to kill myself.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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