Yesterday I saw a prospective new pdoc. He seemed perfect until he told me he can’t visit me if I go inpatient in a private hospital (which is where I always go) as he is too busy in the public system. I am so annoyed as my previous Pdoc recommended this guy and knows I need to be seen by the same pdoc while IP. When I’m very ill I get paranoid so seeing a new pdoc at that point could be disastrous. Even the pdoc interviewing me yesterday agreed it would not work.

Sigh. So, I wasted my time and energy (and my parents who took me as I’m too ill to drive right now), and have to go to my GP get a new referral and try to get an appointment with a new pdoc that also came recommended. I have confirmed she works at the hospital I usually go to. I just hope I can see her soon. Right now I’m ok mentally, but I would hate to have a crisis without a pdoc. At least I got some scripts to get me through two to three months.

Physically, I’ve never felt worse. I think I have some benzo withdrawals on top of the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flare-up. Total exhaustion, weakness, and dizziness with stomach issues as well. Thankfully, I am not anxious. There is nothing I can do but rest and eat good food and avoid the bad. I’m trying to stay positive and hopeful. It is tough.