Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
I am 56. Totally monogamous. Have had 11 serious gf's including one 15-yr wife and another 10-yr partner 2 kids. I am faithful and not a scammer.
That said, i have concluded that all relationships are extremely difficult. Most people wil not sacrifice much when challenges arise. Most people care overwhelmingly about their personal interest. Very few are in anything for the long haul. Very few.
We learn this due to our illnesses. At some point, I concluded that I would prefer to have noone in my life who mistreats me. As a wise man said, "i would rather have one good friend than a thousand relatives."
I am estranged from almost all family and "lifelong" friends. I have much more in common with a schizophrenic on Clozaril. They get me. Am I sad about the loss of those relationships? Only with my son. Other than that, I feel very proud that I do not permit others to mistreat me. Very proud. I will not be abused. I will not love and receive nothing back. I did it for too long.
I would urge you to take command of the situation and take action to protect you. You will never be in control of the feelings or actions of others.
Hugs and love!!
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I can tell from your posts you are such a nice guy. I am so sorry you have been abandoned by people close to you. I assume it is because they don’t understand you have an illness and don’t understand it.
The pain of estrangement from a child is the worst.
I called my son today after being tired of waking with panic attacks over him every morning. I expressed how much I want to repair a genuine relationship with him. He’s very angry, still feeling he was completely right and we were completely wrong. But he agreed about the repair and said he would, we’ll see if he does. Baby steps, minimal expectations, fingers crossed.
I don’t need these strained relationships weighing on my mental health anymore. I do believe I can be strong and keep a healthy positive attitude and everything will be alright, if I tell myself it is. So that’s the plan.
