It's a struggle to try and extend yourself for people who can't give back. It's like a slow drain on your life. It seems to come down to how much people are willing to sacrifice of their personal interests to help their family. The sad part is, if they would hust extend themselves they would find it very rewarding. The "loving, not loving" issue sounds to me like "shallow, not deep." I could be wrong.

Sorry you are putting so much energy into managing your triggers so you don't inconvenience your family. You are very strong!