So sad and beyond hopeless. Hit after 35-mile ride. Tv telling me to do S again. Crying. Cry once a yr, maybe less. Just feel like I will never be stable and getting sicker. Feel like giving up. Will not SH, do not worry. Seems very sensible, though.

Like Breeze has been telling us quite painfully, I am confused as to why God has asked this of me. I am unsure of His purpose. Just do not really get it.