I go on because of my family that includes my pets because they are family. I would never want to do that to my Mother because I know she would be the one to find me. I have already frightened her with my former self harming behaviors. I just couldn`t do that to her. In my most painful times I just try to sleep through though that`s not always easy. So sometimes I just cry alone in my bedroom , the shower ect. I try my very best to get through my very rough patches because I think there might be happier times ahead which is not always easy to do. Then I think of good times with my family and concerts with my younger sister and nieces and the pleasure I find in listening to my favorite artists like Morrissey and The Smiths and petting my dogs and talking to my turtle and the Guinea Pigs. Just simple things in life that I am grateful for. I`m not married and I don`t have children but I love my nieces and nephews as if they were my own and I go on for them too. I guess those are the reasons I have to not do it. I also pray to get through things and that also gives me comfort and the will to go on.