Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous43918
I'm trying this sobriety thing, but it's hard. However, I have trouble using any form of the word "addict" in reference to myself because I simply do not believe I have any sort of addiction and not every single person who uses drugs/alcohol has an addiction.
When did you realize your problem was an addiction?
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Maybe triggering...
Hey, I'm trying for sobriety too. For me it goes hand in hand with sanity. I realised that I had to change something when I was in hospital on a drip having seizures because of substance abuse...I was 21 and had a job I liked, my own place, and a boyfriend (later my husband, now ex) who had let me be part of his family, and his sons life. I thought I was going to loose all that, and I made a promise to stop doing drugs, but I didn't realise I was addicted, and didn't realise all the other addictions and compulsions that were out of control.
I've listened to and read stuff about addiction and sobriety for years, not really knowing why. I know from horribly sh***y situations...without going into detail, that certain compulsive behaviours have brought a lot of pain and upset, not just to myself, and I have started making apologies.
I've started on 12 steps for overeaters. Binge eating has always sort of...filled the gaps 😬 addiction-wise. I think it's only the last few weeks that I've realised how out of control I am, looking for something to pacify, and it's been hard surrendering that control, and going without. I've slipped up a couple of times with food and alcohol, but haven't beaten myself up, just gone back to planning meals ahead and not letting compulsion take over. I'm out of control with alcohol too. I know that once I surrender to my own impulse it ends badly, and I know that I can't take control of ever impulse, so I have to surrender to HP (my understanding of a higher power), and self reflect, and make peace any way I can... I realised gradually to answer the question...I was completely exhausted trying to control and slipping up.
If you don't feel you are addicted, then would sobriety really be so hard? I think it takes a lot of reflection to understand why we do these things that hurt us, and it's even harder if people around us encourage it. There must be a good reason why you're trying for sobriety, and I really hope you get the support you need to make a success of it! It is reaaaalllllly hard!
I really recommend Chip Dodd's the Voice of the Heart, and the Positive Sobriety Podcast