So this week I have gone the whole entire route. With T on vaction, first I didn't notice; then I missed him; then I got mad. Now, I feel like he might be dead. This is so weird. I haven't called all week except to leave a message last Monday when I saw that other Pdoc. I haven't called to check in or to make contact or anything. A part of me feels like I just don't care either.

I think these are all coverups for how much I miss him and how much this relationship really means to me. Sigh. I hope he isn't dead.