I applaud your courage in maybe acknowledging there may be a problem for you. That nascent maybe-insight may save your life.

So, you know where I come from. I have congenital, infant-onset bipolar1. Was not diagnosed until age 41 because I learned to hide it and be sneaky as a toddler and due to elite academic and career success.

I only met full criteria for addiction once, in '99. Tramadol. An extremely complex pain med fraudulently marketed as nonaddictive. It is also a mega, mega anitidepressant, much better than as a pain med. I was horribly depressed.
Tramadol cured that and I refused to stop taking it. The part I got addicted to was the weak opiate part.

Having been doing this a long time, in my opinion there are 2 basic addict types. One who like to get high. And two, those w untreated or poorly treated mental illness. I am clearly the latter. Been sober for a zillion yrs. Which are you? Did you have depression before?

Amphetamine and coke fans often are chasing fatigue, low energy, or depression. Weight loss. You?

Do you have a problem w substances? To me--absolutely. Big-time. Been on Adderall a bunch. I weigh 190 and always nd huge doses of meds. 240 mg is an absolutely psychotic and incredibly dangerous dose for a human. Max for me was ever 60 XR. Where on earth did you find a doc willing to prescribe that? They wld lose their license here.

People perish from cocaine all the time. Heart attacks, arhythmias, vasculitis. Hep C and HIV. Super dangerous. Prison time.

So, if you think there is no issue cuz Adderall requires an rx, I have one word for you: oxy. 2 trillion dollars in damge to US economy. Nuf said.

Those heroin addicts and alcoholics you may surmise you are healthier than cld teach you an s-load.

So, get help before you are arrested or have a giant stroke. Your son and you deserve it.

PM me any time. Praying for you.

Hugs.