I'm dealing with trauma induced psychosis and panic attacks. When I told my mom about OCD thoughts, she understood what I was saying and the depersonalization/derealization went away with 10mg of olanzepine (The dose that my psychiatrist put me on before I wanted to go off of it). It's really complicated solipsism and I think I'm being targeted by a group of gangstalkers that got the wrong person because I typed identities of the old man that sexually harassed me in the psych ward... I'm not sure what is real and I'll have to write it all out.. But what was said is so bizarre and complex, about time machines and travelling faster than the speed of light and , politics, everything.

My mom said that anyone would turn crazy by this. I don't even care enough to type it all out but I have to otherwise my OCD will keep repeating horrible intrusive thoughts that aren't even real.

Being in the psych ward damaged me more now than when I came in there the first place. I feel like I'm being monitored or something. But I have good enough insight although it doesn't magically make me express everything clearly - Just that why I suppose it's disorganized schizophrenia.