Seeing the views and yet no discussion, I am sorry to bring it up.

I didn't write my thought fully out, I'm sorry it's such a taboo subject or unrelated subject to others if so.

What I mean by "no one wanted to talk about it?" Is for me,, no professional wanted to talk about the feelings or thoughts on how One failed... just get back out there and up.. echoing advice from one staff that some times you just have to fake it to make it... it's tiring if you relate.. some times impossible

I remember vividly and still have reoccurring thoughts and feelings that I failed, questions of why, and more of guilt with failing.

In part of my long babble that I shortened I did mention I KNOW 'just go get help' and try and hard work pays off..
how many professionals does one have to talk to, and how much time, energy ,and money and so much more,, needs to be spent to get this. ppl Don't know me, and the heartache on those words while probably meant in the best intentions.