Night before last I took 4-5 klonopin to just erase myself from the world, however temporarily. It did nothing. Last night, I took 2 and it knocked me out. I don't get it.

My mother is disabled. She's the one I was caring for a couple of weeks ago. She noticed in my voice that I sounded down and I told her I was depressed. She was very supportive. She asked about my relationship with my brother, I told her we weren't getting along. this I probably shouldn't have told her because it really upsets her.

So she called my brother and told him how upset I am, etc. etc. She thinks I'm upset about him. Very true, but only part of it. The depression started with lack of sleep, exacerbated by my brother's behavior, took on a life of its own now I'm in a balck hole.

Long story with my brother. He's an asshole with very serious anger probalems. I get very scared of him. Now he's texting me that I shouldn't have told my mom that I was depressed because it upset her. I'm looking for support anywhere I can get it. She so dependent on others, she actually sounded good for being able to help someone else. It's hard to explain.

He keeps texting and is an asshole. I'm done.

I got an extra appointment with my therapist, will see her later this morning. She's my life line.

I cant take this anymore