I've heard you down, but I'm not sure if it was true depression, but the hypomania/mania has shown several times.

Read your updates in this thread and compare them to the mayo clinic list of symptoms.

Mania and hypomania
Mania and hypomania are two distinct types of episodes, but they have the same symptoms. Mania is more severe than hypomania and causes more noticeable problems at work, school and social activities, as well as relationship difficulties. Mania may also trigger a break from reality (psychosis) and require hospitalization.

Both a manic and a hypomanic episode include three or more of these symptoms:

Abnormally upbeat, jumpy or wired

Increased activity, energy or agitation

Exaggerated sense of well-being and self-confidence (euphoria)

Decreased need for sleep

Unusual talkativeness

Racing thoughts

Distractibility

Poor decision-making — for example, going on buying sprees, taking sexual risks or making foolish investments

So what do you think when you look at this list Miss Laura? Has your doctor ever made a distinction between BP1 and 2? If you think a second opinion would help with acceptance that is a wonderful idea. You can move forward once you accept what you're working with. I thought you had already accepted it, but you were deciding you wanted to try to live med free. Forgive me for missing that detail.