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Desoxyn · Aug 25, 2020 at 01:42 PM

Here's what I wrote on a FB OCD forum (Beware it's quite messed up);

Possible trigger:

I started developing POCD after I searched google "God is a gay schizophrenic pedophile" and found a philosophy forum post talking about crazy things - She was banned from a "genius" or MENSA forum, talking about time machines and going faster than the speed of light and dooms day devices. I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia but was sexually harassed and stalked in the psych ward when I was 20 by a crack smoking pedophile. I'm 100% not attracted to children but what if I'm still attracted to people my own age (I'm 24) when I'm his age (50 something), will I then become a pedophile? I'm not a child - But that old man had an underaged boy living with him and likely having sex. The boy killed himself on Christmas day. The old man phoned me the next Christmas day asking to book a hotel with me and have sex. I said I'm not gay or bi and hung up the phone. I didn't realize until after that he was masturbating and crying to my voice on the phone. Later he died of an overdose in the psych ward. I then took a lot of mushrooms on Boxing Day and had a bad trip - Thinking love is fake and people just want sex from me or anyone else. It's weird. He was "Christian" and a conspiracy theorist - I think maybe Alex Jones is right about interdimensional pedophiles so I'm being targeted by people - But I'm the wrong person and pedophiles run the world and the hype about it all in the world is triggering me. I just want to let this out because it's all driving me nuts. I was treated for OCD when I was 16 but never had POCD until now after reading all of these posts especially about them.

It helped to write that out. I'm at the doctors office waiting to talk to my doctor and get refills. Everything will be ok.. idk what I'm gon a do after bit I'll try and find something productive and relax, breathe.