I hate the fact that I've failed. hate it

in the past I have tried at least 5 times to end it, and to be honest, when I look back on them, even though it was scary, I wanted it. wanted it so badly (like it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing)

I first made a serious attempt at age 9. a lot of people still look at me now and are like 9, did you know what you were doing so young?

yes, yes I did- and I still think to this day, what was so messed up I tried even before my teen years

during my most serious attempt



apart from the extreme grief I felt at the time because of the attempt, that hurt- knowing that I don't have support of my family. I'm in hospital, and their sitting at home cheering me on to end it.

I'm still their now if I'm honest. every day I look at my life and think what is the dam point of it all. everything that could go wrong in my life, has gone wrong- it basically should be over (or basically never should have begun)

I don't find this a difficult subject to talk about. I did it, I did it because I was unhappy, and this needs to be shared (it's better than adding to the stigma)