My wife is 60. She has some dryness, but we use lube and that solves the problem. I don’t know if her sex drive is lower because she won’t tell me. She likes ha int her feet or back rubbed, but she reacts to it therapeutically. She wants me to do it because it eases her aches and pains or relaxes her. She never treats it as something sensual or as a way to connect. I didn’t really threaten to leave her. I made it very clear that I want an active sex life with her, not someone else. But I am trying to get across to her the sense of urgency. I think she takes me for granted.