Hey there, I just wanted to mention that in my experience not every VA is equal, there are some real bad ones out there. It took me several attempts at finding a good therapist and psychiatrist I could trust a bit, in several moves and a lot of time. Also I was told by one of my therapists that we have the equivalent of a cat's brain worth of nerves in our body, below our brain. I think that is why stuff like EMDR works, like others here have said it's almost stored in the body, the body's memory.

EMDR did help me, but I had established some trust and still felt very vulnerable. The sessions were challenging for me, IDK if they are challenging for everyone. I have a lot more memories of my youth and my experiences overseas. I'm less reactive, and am less hyper-vigilant. I still have nightmares on occasion and still have insomnia at times. However I think along with a combination of correct medication, another process in itself, CBT and EMDR I have a lot of my symptoms lessened and function better. I came to these forums hoping to find some news that it gets even better, that I would be my old self, but it seems that a lot of ptsd cases are chronic. That is ok, just hard to swallow. Anyway, I really hope EMDR works for you too, though it's not the holy grail in my opinion. I also hope you find a good VA/therapist. Take care.