Hello pineperson. Please do stay safe. As bpcyclist wrote, hurting (or worse) yourself is not worth it. It is not the solution. You must continue to fight your illness because you deserve to live life. We want you here very much.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend and his family don't seem to understand. We here do. Your doctor/therapist does and do call them immediately today and let them know you need their help. Don't worry about your boyfriend and his family right now. Take care of yourself in the kindest way possible.

I do not have a lot of experience with ultraradian cycling, but I do with mixed features (mixed episodes). They can sure be similar in some ways. For me, medications like Tegretol XR, Seroquel XR, and Zyprexa were particularly helpful. Seroquel XR and Tegretol XR are still in my medication cocktail. I happen to need both. I also take a small dose of Lamictal, which is good as a reinforcement in curbing depression, for me. I have heard that Depakote can be very good, but it wasn't a favorite of mine. Some others like it, though. Hopefully, your psychiatrist will find a better medication (or mix) for you soon.

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