Hi Jbear,

Your situation is obviously very painful and dissatisfying. I don't think your ultimatum is in any way unreasonable, but do you think you've considered the health of your relationship in other areas...and also maybe your personal issues about sex (whether the urgency just stems from your natural drive or whether there's other issues at play). It must be worrying the thought of leaving, especially as you have become a father to your wife's children. I think your pain is completely understandable especially as you haven't given to understanding the cause of your wife's difficulty in being intimate with you...from what you've said it does sound like her issue is of intimacy and not only sex. You must be frustrated that she won't join you in couples therapy. It might sound corny, but have you tried writing each other letters? Do you think that's something she'd be able to do? If she really can't take any steps to meet you then I can't imagine how you could be expected to stay in your marriage. It is very sad and I hope that you can find a way to open your hearts to each other and rekindle