Thank you both. Those are worthy suggestions. I will re-read your posts tomorrow. I know someone I could hire to help a bit. She was a caregiver to my boyfriend and did some useful sorting of stuff at his apartment.

I feel like I want to talk with a professional about my hoarding and compulsive ways of dealing with "stuff." I want my PCP to at least know how badly stressed I feel. I've got a drawyer full of psychotropics which I don't think will help me very much. I do take whatever will help me fall asleep.

I gave up on getting psych care in the healthcare system where I go for my primary healthcare. I hate that my care in recent months has had me bouncing around among several healthcare systems.

There is a psychiatrist over where I get my primary care. He would be the logical person to follow me, while I'm having serious mental health issues. I did have a telephone meeting with him a few weeks after my boyfriend died. I told him I requested it because I felt my grieving was becoming abnormal. He couldn't have been more dismissive. He told me everything I was going through was "totally normal." I knew I was becoming unglued. He wouldn't hear of it. He's over age 70 and has always seemed very indifferent toward me. We've met a few times over the past few years. I've never felt he had any interest in me. That healthcare system also has a psych hospital. It's all state run. Most people agree that psych hospital is the worst psych facility in town. It's a university teaching hospital. They train psych residents there to be pdocs. I even worked there for a few years. It's just a miserable place.

I'm floundering trying to keep up with providers here and there.

I don't want to burden my PCP with stuff she might think I should be telling the psychiatrist about. But I want someone who knows me to hear what I'm going through and just realize that I'm not doing too well, even if there is not much they can do about it.