Hi all,
So although I was diagnosed with bipolar about 12 years ago, this is the first time I’ve ever reached out to others who have to deal with this disorder on a daily basis like I do. I just have a couple of questions and am hoping I can find people who can relate and can help me feel less like I’m losing my mind and less guilty. One question I have is do a lot of you work full time outside the home? I’ve had quite a bit more depression in the last few years and am wondering if it might be due to the fact that I’m working full time now. Honestly I feel like I’m just being a baby and should be able to cope with this. I actually really like my job but it seems to be getting harder and harder every day to go to work. I’ve been hospitalized for major depression 3 times in the last 5 years which I’ve seen from these threads wouldn’t really be considered a lot but it is for me. My last one was in May and it was a very serious episode which resulted in spending 2 days unconscious in the ER before moving to the behavioral health floor and I was out of work for a full month. I just want to know if working is also a problem for others so I can see it’s a valid feeling and that others struggle with it as well. Clearly I have a real issue accepting that I may now have some limitations. My other question deals with hospitalization and intensive therapy. Has anyone done residential treatment for bipolar that isn’t caused by crisis or addiction related issues? Where I live I have limited resources but I think I’m finally at a point where I know I need to do something drastic to get myself in a good place mentally. I just don’t know how to go about it. This depressive episode has been going on for almost a year and I desperately do not want to end up where I was in May again. I have a very hard time reaching out to friends and family for help despite the fact that they’ve all been very supportive and understanding. I always worry that I’m a burden and am interfering with their lives. It’s hard for me not to feel as if I’m just being whiny and needy. It just all feels so unfair and discouraging to me.. I would greatly appreciate any comments or advice any of you might have. Wow. Sorry this ended up being so long and I hope it’s not coming across as a random ramble.