Thank you very much, daffodils. I think I better make the most of this tomorrow. I'm not sobbing like I was doing. However, I am far from well. I sort of got rid of the sad-depression. In its place, I now have apathetic-depression. I'm nice and relaxed, but I feel like I don't care about anything. The apartment is getting messier day by day. I'm feeling physically weak from staying on the couch and doing nothing. I fear my future. I see myself staying in this mode of doing as little as I can get by with.

I realize the nurse practitioner tomorrow will probably be most interested in medication. I have many years of experience dealing with depression. Lots of meds were tried and proved worthless. I need to have people to interact with IRL. That's why I improved both times in that hospital.

I'm afraid the NP will say that she can't really help me with what I'm looking for.