Even nonreligious people become hyperreligious when manic. I think you are mostly manic, myself. But psychotic stuff often floats in from the edges and comingles.

Super duper worried about you, ML. As others have tried to point out, untreated mania and psychosis almost never has a happy ending. Take it from an expert in the matter.

I urge you to reach out for help. Your experiment is over. I understand wanting to do it, I do. I did it with the same result. Time for some help.

Hugs and love.