You will know what to say, but I understand when being so overwhelmed it's hard. The writing out what you want her to know is a very good way to do this. I'm sorry you feel so alone.. I know it's all too much for you. You had his company companionship and sweet love for 30 or more years. This is a change you couldn't know how to handle. Even the most prepared person for knowing that death is coming it's a shock to the system.

For some strange reason I had a weird smile on my face at my mom's funeral.. I guess I was happy to see family long lost, but it was two days after she died. It's a shock and people will react in different ways. Eat what you can manage to and maybe try some sleep therapy sounds from youtube?

The nurse practitioner IS going to help you, just remember you are never truly alone, you have psych central community that cares for you very much.