Ugh.

They're little things. And I don't think I coped very well. I already don't feel well. I'm moving next week, and dealing with internet installation **** with terrible customer service.

The guy behind me, driving, on the way to my parents house, felt I was going too slow and honked at me and acted exasperated. I flipped him off. Nothing happened. He backed off. But I really regret flipping most ppl off. It makes me feel bad too. I don't want to bring that negativity into the world.

I already felt like **** though. I was thinking about how I feel...unworthy of being in a relationship, as I am. Because no one has really...no one has said "I like you, WG. You're attractive, and I LIKE you." I volunteer and I've come to realize I totally have a crush on my boss. I like love him. He is so kind and wonderful. But maybe he's not that wonderful. I feel discouraged / let down every time I volunteer. I volunteered today. I get that it would never happen anyway. He's my boss. But the things I tell myself...make me feel worse, like, " he wouldn't pick you anyway." I really need to stop that. Maybe I should do the picking. He's completely wrong for me bc he's my boss and I work with him. And if we didn't work together and he couldn't see my worth, **** him.

Geezuz effing krist. I can't believe I still think this way, so negatively about myself. I need to change. I'd really love to change. For the record, I'm pretty. I'm not model pretty. But I'm cute and pretty and my personality, well, I don't know. I could probably work on myself. I'm kind of critical of my personality.