I miss:

- being happy

- the carefree days passing in a blur of giggles with my little sister

- being untroubled about the future and the past, living in the moment

- feeling secure that the world made sense and was fair

- feeling good about myself and my body

- loving my parents; later developed very mixed feelings about them

- feeling safe

- a rhythm to the days; my mom kept us on a schedule and it felt healthier than the day-long spontaneity i have now, chaotic

- being joyful to wake up in the morning; now it takes me several tries over many hours to get up