Had my first appointment with my new therapist today. She doesn't believe in labels. It was 2.5 hours long as we went through intake. Some things have me a bit nervous, but I plan to be firm about those things.

She (and my P-doc) believe that I have C-PTSD. I didn't at first, but by the end of today's appointment, I'm pretty convinced that its true. What I found interesting is that a lot of the symptoms overlap with those of bipolar. Here's where the therapist and I disagree.

After just a few hours she thinks there's a very good chance that I don't actually have bipolar disorder and that all of the doctors have been wrong and its C-PTSD masking as Bipolar or at the very least Major Depression with C-PTSD. I gave her permission to speak to my p-doc but also sent my p-doc a voicemail saying that I want a full record of any conversation between the two of them given to me and that any diagnosis discussions will include me. For crying out loud.

I also was crystal clear with the therapist that I will be open to an agreed upon treatment plan, but that I will not discuss any medication changes with her. I have a psychiatrist for that.

Next week I have an hour appointment to design my treatment plan. I'm curious because this therapist believes in several different approaches including sleep, diet, exercise, homeopathic and mindfulness. She's not a huge fan of medicine, but I've made it clear that I need it to function and keep my job.

I'm trying to self-advocate while also approach treatment with an open mind and heart.

Also, I'm in mixed mania again (though she doesn't like labels, so I don't know what the holy hell to call it)