Oh and also my pdoc just keeps changing things so that can't help either.

And I usually attribute everything to meds.

I feel like my pdoc makes counterintuitive decisions.

Like, he says things like "we should keep things the same" and "I think it's unhelpful to make so many changes so fast". Yet that's exactly what he does. I think the meds are a very counterintuitive science. It's the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" science.

I clearly don't understand his decision-making process.

I also don't think that meds can do everything. Don't get me wrong, meds have helped in the past, but they're not everything I do to keep my mood up.

I dislike how everyone around me acts like the meds are the only thing propping me up.

Yet they have terrible side effects. I just hate how my pdoc labels everything. It's like everything has to have a cause. Like everything I experience is able to be traced back to a cause. That idea is b.s. in my opinion. I also hate how every therapist I have had just says "oh well the meds clearly help you" to me. They are just the psychiatrists' parrots in my humble opinion.

People often use my words against me, including therapists. If I one time say that meds help me, they'll use those words against me. I don't know what I'm trying to prove here. Just trying to get my thoughts out.