I’ve been manic for the past year. I kid you not. I’ve been on lithium this whole time and my pdoc recently added Geodon which hasn’t been good. I’m doing impulsive things all the time. I’ve run up thousands of dollars worth of debt. I’m also having some OCD issues too. I have a lot of stressors in my life and thoughts of suicide cross my mind 2-3 times every single day. I really don’t think I would act on them because of my family, but it scares me that they’re even there.

I’m seeing a therapist a couple of times a month. My pdoc is booked way out in advance so it’s hard to get an appointment.

I’m terrified at the thought of going inpatient and losing complete control but honestly I haven’t done that great when I’ve had control. I’m afraid they’re going to pump me full of drugs. I just don’t know what to expect!

Do I need to go? What do I do? Call my pdoc and tell her how I’m feeling, or just go to the ER? My life is spiraling down and I don’t know what to do.