Another insane day. Still haven’t had contact with case manager for medical leave or accommodations. No documents have been sent to have filled out. Today was supposed to be my first day back to work. When I call I get a message about not being verified and it cuts the call. I literally cannot contact them. No one in the building actually deals with leaves, and so that doesn’t help either.

I tried the employee resource number and they wouldn’t talk to me because I “failed verification” by providing my information. I went into work 3 hours early. I waited for HR as the sign said they were in a meeting. Turns out, they don’t come in on sundays.

The first person I talked to just couldn’t understand me I guess. She kept saying the same thing that didn’t answer my questions. I know she couldn’t do much but she made me feel so detached from reality. I was gonna have to struggle through this alone. I mean I’m trying to explain I cannot get the phone line to even connect for a person and she keeps pushing , you have to call this number. I tell her my reservations about starting today without a doctors release to come to work (or any documentation whatsoever!) response? Call this number and your case manager will probably be back by September 3. How does that help now!?! I started having a panic attack. After 30 minutes and with complete dread and fear I went back and just begged to talk to someone in a sit down fashion because I was really shaken up and I just needed to feel what I needed was being heard. The second guy are a lot more helpful.

I started it outright with how upset and frustrated I am and it’s the situation that’s has my emotions high and that I would try to be as clear as possible and calm. He understood. Long story short, they don’t have access and unless I tell them , they don’t get to know what my leave is for. I had no intention of telling him but I think he could kind of figure it out based on the situation. I explained I was expecting some accommodations before coming back to work and I am not so comfortable returning without at least talk of that and how I’ve tried and been unable to be in contact with my case manager. Luckily, he had just as much trouble trying to get anything. It was clear my case hasn’t even been touched. I called and he called and both failed. He saw first hand I truly couldn’t reach out.

Despite the email saying I return today, the system has me coded as still on leave for the rest of the week. So basically he sent an email to everyone and their brother to get this taken care of. He excused me for the next few days until we can get this taken care of. He said he has a leave of absence not too long ago and it was a headache for him too.

I still have an open HR case that’s supposedly being sent to higher ups. I requested an update on that.

The manager I filed a formal complaint on stopped me in the hall and asked me how I was, and followed up with “I’ll check in on your later”. I know it was innocent enough, honestly — but with my panic attack mode having been activated I found his questioning of how my weekend was and his want to check in later intrusive and intimidating considering our rocky interactions.

I’m glad I was cleared to leave and didn’t have to see him again tonight. Again, I don’t think he’s in the wrong here, but It did contribute to very negative and scary feelings.

Let’s just hope things work out. Since day one nothing has went right, we’ll see.

That’s about it.