I don't want to have this bitterness. I need to forgive myself and I have. My core says to me if I don't forgive I'll just keep playing the same old record in my head ex. He did this then that and on and on. I'm too giving and I feel so used up. I will never get myself into this kind of situation again but now it's hard to trust anyone. At least I have 2 girlfriends but they are so busy. I'm going to live my life the best I can. I feel like there's something wrong with me for not seeing things soon enough in relationships for what they are. It took me all these years to learn not to let someone walk all over me like a doormat. Thank you 2 for the reply. I have to work on myself and learn from this.